Live shows! Albums! New music! A lot has happened within the last week, and now that I’ve had a chance to digest it all, it’s time to give my definitive review of each.
Usher’s “Superstar” Moment
Were most of my predictions for Usher’s Super Bowl Halftime Show wrong? Yes. But one thing I got right was how enjoyable this performance was.
Compared to Rihanna’s 2023 aesthetically muted production, this was a spectacle. Women traipsing around in vaudeville-esque headdresses, the sparkly outfits, the big band on the field — we haven’t seen anything of this size on the Super Bowl stage since Coldplay’s joint performance with Beyoncé and Bruno Mars in 2016. A man was shot out of a canon, for christ’s sake! Not to mention, at least 6 different people reached out to tell me how much they enjoyed the rollerskating. Most people rejected her (my) message…they hated her (me) because she (me) told them the future (that Usher’s Super Bowl performance would include a rollerskating portion)…
I’ve also never been so happy to be wrong about a setlist before. “Superstar”? “Bad Girl”? "Ludacris’ “Yeah!” verse over the “Freek-A-Leek” beat? That’s my man!
Now, there’s an elephant in the room that we must address: Did I really think Usher would choose Chilli over Alicia Keys to be his duet partner for “My Boo”? Of course not. But I knew putting Keys on that stage would end in disaster (IYKYK), and I simply didn’t want that to happen. No amount of ginger tea with lemon can save that woman from her own vocal cords. It should’ve been Chilli, and I will die on this hill! Beautiful gowns though.
Choreography-wise I could tell Usher made a few missteps, and he wasn’t always on his vocal A-game either, but I applaud him for opting to sing live instead of relying on a track. Overall I’d give this performance an 8/10, which is a near-perfect grade by Halftime Show standards.
If I’m going to stan on main, I should admit that I’ve only gotten halfway through Usher’s new album, COMING HOME. But truth be told, I don’t need Usher to be an album artist at this point in his career — just give us the hits, baby!
Act ii: Yeehaw
During the Super Bowl, Beyoncé tapped the help of Verizon and Tony Hale to announce her new album, act ii of her three-part Renaissance trilogy. If the two songs she dropped that night, “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” and “16 CARRIAGES”, are any indication, the next installment will be a country record, as I have long suspected. Historically I’ve never been much of a country fan, but I’m still excited to see where this goes. After all, “DADDY LESSONS” is one of the best songs on Lemonade, and “Suga Mama,” my second-favorite Beyoncé song, is a country-infused funk track at its core and you can’t convince me otherwise.
I saw someone online describe “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” as the “BREAK MY SOUL” of act ii, in that they’re both a little too on the nose but still represent their respective genres well, which is pretty much how I feel — it’s a fun song with a lot of interesting elements but that’s about where my admiration ends. “16 CARRIAGES,” however, has the potential to be a Beyoncé all-timer. The steel guitar makes me feel like I’m transcending to another plane, the earnest vocal performance is tender yet urgent, and the lyrical eulogizing of her career is incredibly moving and borderline alarming.
As for my predictions for what’s to come, I think the Donna Summer sample on “SUMMER RENAISSANCE” is a hint that the next project will close with either an interpolation of a Dolly Parton song, or, if she’s looking to spotlight a Black country artist, a Tracy Chapman track. (I also think act iii will be a rock record that’ll feature a Tina Turner sample on the closer, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.) I have a feeling the horse imagery will carry over to the next two album covers, and I’m fairly confident we won’t get to see a single music video until act iii is out in the world. My tinfoil hat conspiracy theory is that the visuals will only be released in theaters, stay tuned…
Vanderpump Rules Takes Chicago
This weekend I got to see Vanderpump Rules’ very own Ariana Madix take the stage as Roxie Hart in Chicago, and naturally I have some thoughts. The TL;DR is: I think she did a decent job! She certainly wasn’t the weakest part of the show (the set design gets to wear that title proudly), and considering how much VPR is centered around Tom Sandoval’s shitty band, James Kennedy’s lame DJ career, and Scheana “Good As Gold” Shay, I was shocked to discover she can actually sing? And just never mentioned it on the show?? I definitely would’ve like to see her make more choices on stage, but acting is something that can be learned, vocal competence is not.
I had never seen Chicago before this, not even the 2002 film, and I gotta say, I was pretty underwhelmed!! It was giving Cats in that there are at least five songs where people are just introducing themselves, and for some reason the set designer thought it would be a good idea to let the band take up two-thirds of the stage and let the dancers use the remaining third to do their best (see: worst) Fosse drag. I give it another 3-5 years before they pull Chicago from Broadway, and maybe we’ll be better for it.
“…And???”
On Feb. 15, Ariana Grande and Mariah Carey got into a whistle tone-off on the remix of Grande’s latest single, “yes, and?”. If you know me, you know Mariah is a personal hero of mine, and I’ve been known to stan Ariana in the past, though whatever she’s doing right now is not working for me. I don’t even have a problem with the Spongebob of it all — who is doing old Hollywood cheating scandals like her! — but her recent embrace of 1950s cosplay and subsequent descent into whiteness does not sit right with my spirit. Everything about her current look (and sound — the baby voice she uses on the bridge is legitimately disturbing) feels like a major overcorrection from the blackfishing allegations, which is why this new era just feels completely disingenuous to me.
As for the song itself, I’ve been seeing a lot of criticism online about the end result of the collab, and all I have to say is: only one person understood the assignment here, and it’s not Ariana. My biggest issue with the original song is that Grande is telling people to “say that shit with your chest” while barely speaking above ASMR levels herself. Mariah knows that a song like this needs to be boisterous, disruptive, and loud. She came on this bitch mad as hell, and if the remix doesn’t work for you, it’s because the source material was flawed to begin with.
Justice For Ashanti
I watched J Lo’s new visual album (?) This Is Me…Now last night, and girl, lol. This was my first time actively engaging with J Lo’s “music,” and it will surely be the last. Dave Meyers needs to be tried at the Hague expeditiously — every frame was uglier than the last! That man has gotten away with too much for too long.
That’s all for now! If you disagree with anything I’ve said today, feel free to write about it in your journal and then promptly burn the whole notebook.