Happy afternoon! I literally just realized that most of my past newsletters would make the person behind the Twitter account “Women Posting Their L’s Online” a whole lot of money. And yet I choose to post about it for free……no comment at this time.
To make sure they don’t copy my whole flow word for word, bar for bar, I’m gonna skip the long stories from this week and limit myself to five words per bullet point:
Laughed at during job interview
Had weirdest apartment tour ever
Will never forget the smell
Cops blocked off my street
Apartment rented when I arrived
Got blocked by the realtor
And to think I almost forgot I had to write this thing today! Everything has been so stupid-ridiculous lately that none of this even phases me anymore. Except the incident with the cops. I’m still not completely clear on what happened but what I do know is: it’s been ACAB ever since I found out his name wasn’t actually Officer Friendly.
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This one is for the Gossip Girl-ies only:
I’m going to say something vulnerable and I would love for this to be a judgement-free zone when I do: I think it’s fun that the teachers are Gossip Girl. If you were excited for the new series because you thought it would be good, that’s on you, bunny. It was never going to be good. Once you accept that into your heart, and realize that the teachers becoming Gossip Girl makes the show the worst possible version of itself—therefore making it the best possible version of itself—I promise that your soul will feel 10 pounds lighter.
I’m having a good time, what can I say!! I think it is unbelievably funny that these characters are “woke” and operate with class and social consciousness, but also treat their teachers like starving rats. I think that’s awesome. No notes, truly. Brava.
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Since we’ve only got a month left with the loft, it’s time to bring back the segment I hate the most. Presenting, Loft in Pieces: Living Room Edition.
Not to be all “girl-showing-her-friends-pictures-of-the-guy-she’s-dating,” but I promise it looks better in person. We got this couch for free from a friend of Hana’s in November 2019. When I left to go home for Thanksgiving we had one couch, and when I came back we had two. Hana’s friend lived in an elevator building, and apparently the couch got stuck in elevator for so long they had to call the super for help, mere days after the poor man had a heart attack. Supers are everything landlords think they are!!!
You might recognize the big and little pictures from a few months ago when I bought a lot of things. We had a much bigger frame hanging there for 6 months with nothing in it. The picture on the left belongs to Hana, and Caroline picked out the other three prints.
Anyone who’s been to my apartment will tell you that one of the first things out of my mouth is always: “you see this couch? Hana reupholstered it.” I require that everyone takes at least 10 seconds to appreciate her work before moving on, because I don’t know if you’ve ever tried reupholstering a couch before, but it’s fucking hard!!! Let me tell you, I surely had my doubts, but not Hana. She held onto that classic Virgo Vision of hers and persevered through all my hateration and holleration in this dancery. Thank you Hana, and thank you to the previous tenants for leaving her behind.
Hana also found the giant gold frame empty on the street. I found the canvas print on Depop and I love her dearly.
Everything in this picture was free except for the plant; I got the TV from a family friend and the bar cart from a different family friend, the wicker basket and records were left in the lobby of our last apartment, the cream blanket came from the free table at my old job, and the origami butterflies were left by the old tenants of the apartment. Destiny’s Children were right—there really is no feeling like being free.
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I think I’m going to double-email the realtor that’s been ghosting me now (not the one that blocked me, because I was raised to respect boundaries). I think you’ll hear from me next week, but I reserve the right to not post next week if I so choose. Ciao bellas!